It's Better To Forget
by Charlie Baytes
Summary: It all starts with this party that she didn't even really want to go to. And you know Rachel and parties, she just can't keep her hands off of those gay boys when she's drunk. AU. SmythBerry, Klaine, Puckleberry and Pezberry friendship.
1. The Meeting

So this is a Smythe-Berry fic. and yeah, it's like five thousand words, so I split it into like three parts plus an epilogue. It took forever to write, and I hope you guys enjoy it, because I enjoyed writing it, and I also enjoyed the fact that I wrote all of it first before I posted it, so I will most definantly be updating very soon if anyone actually cares.

I don't usually like reading over what I read, so if anyone catches a mistake, than don't hesitate to review telling me. I'd like to fix anything that sounds weird.

Very AU. Especially next chapter. So just go along with it.

**Disclaimer: I own Glee. And if you believed that, than I'm also Mark Zuckerberg and you should bow down to me.**

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><p>It's getting harder to breathe, and the heat is so thick it's almost tangible. But the fact of the matter is, if you're really being honest, you couldn't care less. Because you can bare the heat, and you can make do with panting, but you don't ever want to stop doing what you're doing. Because his arms are so strong around you, and his mouth tastes like coconut and his hands are <em>everywhere, <em>and you'd be lying if you said you were uncomfortable, that it didn't feel incredible.

And you'd be lying if you said you knew how you got here.

And not just here, as in the closest you two are currently in, but as in the situation. As in, how you exactly got to this party, or just how exactly things went from crazy to chaotic in a matter of hours.

And you know you're going to wake up tomorrow and you're going to want to regret this, regret him, regret these kisses, these feelings of lust and passion. You're going to wake up tomorrow and want to be ashamed that you slept with _him,_ the enemy.

But the fact of the matter is, you won't really want to.

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><p>"I just don't understand why you feel so intimidated by this boy Kurt. Obviously Blaine loves you and only you, I don't think you should get so wrapped up in this. This Sebastian is obviously just trying to push your buttons."You say to Kurt as you drive to the Lima Bean Saturday afternoon.<p>

"Well he's doing an awfully good job if he wants to annoy me. The guy is a total prick." Kurt rolls his eyes and pops a tic-tac into his mouth, "I hate him with all my heart."

"You hardly know him."

"You don't get it Rach, I don't really want to know him."

You sigh and hope that Kurt is just being over-dramatic. "What are you going to do if Sebastian shows up today?"

Kurt chuckles. "Simple. I'm going to tell him how much I hate him and his nonchalant lax-player attitude. How much I despise his little seductive half-grin."

Kurt pulls into the parking-lot of the Lima-Bean. "And I will personally try my hardest to run him over with my car."

"KURT!"

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><p>Walking into the Lima Bean is filled with you trying to explain to Kurt how counter-productive it would be if he hit Sebastian with his car; once you two are inside, however, is a whole other story.<p>

Two tables in front of you sits Blaine, black hair gelled back, bowtie front and center as always. Across from him sits the hottest guy you have seen. He has tannish skin with wavy bronze hair that seems to be naturally wind-blown. Even from this distance you can see his hazel eyes, and that seductive smirk Kurt was talking about. He's every girl's wet dream, and he's totally into Blaine.

You can see why Kurt would be jealous. Beside you, you can feel Kurt stiffen as he gets his sassy manner together. Kurt all but struts over to the table, you trailing behind, and casually says, "Blaine, darling, I see you have a guest." Kurt gives Sebastian a nasty glare before turning lovingly to Blaine.

You reach the table and smile because, to be honest, you feel totally uncomfortable.

"I brought a guest as well!" Kurt sing-songs and sits down right next to Blaine. You quickly move to the other side of Blaine and sit down without saying anything. Blaine looks relieved to see you.

"Rachel!" Blaine says happily. "You're here!" You nod and smile, still saying nothing. You feel totally vulnerable in the presence of Sebastian, even if he is gay.

"Meet my friend Sebastian." Blaine says. "Sebastian, Rachel. Rachel, Sebastian." Now you're forced to look at him. _Oh no, be cool. _

"Hello Sebastian." You say as pleasantly and warmly as possible.

"So you're the famous Rachel Berry. I've heard _a lot_ of rumors about you." He grins knowing he has your attention.

"Like what?" You say hastily, almost too hastily for your liking.

"Oh I don't know, _they are_ **just **rumors." He sips his coffee. Kurt presses his lips together. "What rumors have you heard,_ Sebastian._"

"All kinds. That you have an amazing voice." He nods to you. "That you try and sleep with every guy possible. " You scoff at that one.

"That you're bossy, ambitious, calculating. Willing to do anything to get what you want. That you make out with every boy in Glee club. That you tried to turn Blaine straight."

"That one is true." Blaine says quietly.

"That you once sent an Asian girl to a crack house because you were intimidated by her. You slept with your choir coach, and you made out with a hotdog for money."

You purse your lips in frustration. "Okay I'm very offended that this is what is going around at Dalton. Most of those rumors were lies."

Sebastian smirks again. "Most?"

"I did try and turn Blaine straight and I may or may not have tried to send Sunshine Corozon to a crack house."

Kurt shakes his head. "Those were not your proudest moments."

"But I am ambitious and cunning and perhaps a little calculating and I do have an amazing voice. But I should not be judged on those qualities."

"Doesn't bother me." Sebastian says grinning. "I've been accused of some of the same things."

"Do not _compare_ yourself to Rachel." Kurt says dryly. "She has so much more dignity than you do."

"And what's the supposed to mean?"

"I'm going to get more coffee." Blaine stands up quickly and hurries over to the counter. Oh no, this is going to get ugly fast.

"You know what it means." Kurt snarls.

"Oh yeah?"

"It means I don't like you or your CW hair, and don't like your Meer-Cat smirk. You smell like Craigs-List, Sebastian, and your hair to head ratio is way off."

"Kurt!" You say startled. "Contain yourself."

"Yeah Kurt." Sebastian smirks. "Contain yourself."

Kurt looks at you. "Do not take his side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side."

"Well it sure looks like it."

You place your hands on Kurt's. "Don't be so over-dramatic, you are making a scene."

Kurt scoffs and gets up. "Good." He eyes you both. "I'm leaving, tell Blaine to call me later." And with that Kurt heads toward the door.

"Kurt!" You call out. "You're my ride."

"Find another one." He yells over his shoulder. You gape. How dare he? You huff and turn back to Sebastian. He looks amused and has that stupid grin on his face again.

"What are you smiling at? You practically just ruined their relationship with your presence!" You yell at him. "And now I don't have a ride back home! Ugh, this is Christmas 2010 all over again."

"What happened in 2010?"

"None of your business!"

He looks at you for a moment and you suddenly feel intimidated and exposed. "You're cute when you're frustrated."

You can't help the blush that creeps onto your cheeks. "Don't try and flatter me Sebastian, _your gay._

"Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you." Sebastian whispers.

Your whole body goes warm and your heart flutters and you hate Sebastian for making you feel all fuzzy, because he's gay and you aren't supposed to feel that way towards gay boys!

"What doesn't bother you? And where's Kurt?" You're momentarily startled by Blaine, mainly because you forgot his existence.

"Kurt had a hissy fit and left." Sebastian takes a sip of his coffee. "Really Blaine, how do you deal?"

"Don't insult my boyfriend."

"Yeah." You agree. "Don't insult his boyfriend."

Sebastian laughs again. He doesn't ever appear to be offended or angry. The bastard. "You both are so cute when you're angry." He takes another sip of his coffee as Blaine looks at you in disbelief.

"Anyway," Sebastian continues. "There's a party tonight. You two should come."

"Who's house?" Blaine asks.

"Nick's. He's got everyone from Dalton coming, plus the girls from Crawford Country Day. The party should be alright. As long as there's beer, and I would love to see a drunk Blaine and Rachel."

You gasp and look at Blaine, who, to your surprise, seems to be considering going. You gape. "What time's it start?"

"Nine." Sebastian stands up before continuing. "I gotta run. Gotta get to lax practice. I better see you both at the party." He points at you both. "Catch you later." And with that the Warbler is gone.

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><p>Lucky for you, Blaine was kind enough to give you a lift back to your place. "I can't believe Kurt left you there, that was really immature and weird of him." He had said to you while driving back home.<p>

"I understand. He was just feeling the passion of the moment. It felt right at that moment to storm out and leave with a grand performance. I would know, I am a pro at storm-outs." Blaine smiles and you laugh.

"What I mean is that I understand and in a way I respect the inner diva that he unleashed in that moment."

Blaine laughs this time. "Well he still shouldn't have left you."

Silence passes before you have the courage to ask. "Are you thinking about going to that party tonight?"

Blaine squishes his eyebrows together, a sure sign that he's about to lie. "What? No way. I forgot all about that."

"Don't lie to me Blaine; I know you want to go to that party."

"Well maybe just a little bit. I mean I haven't seen the guys since I went to visit them at the beginning of this school year. And of course I would invite Kurt to go. And I mean don't you kind of want to go. I mean the Crawford Country Day girls are cool and everything, but it's been the same pool of girls since eighth grade and I know the guys are going to be jumping at the chance to meet someone new."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm with Finn."

"Yeah, and you think he wouldn't do the exact same thing if he was in your position?"

"No." You say defiantly.

"Get real. He's a guy. And yeah, he's in a relationship with you, but he's still a horny teenage guy and knowing you, he probably isn't getting laid nearly enough to satisfy his needs." Blaine says bluntly.

"Are you calling me a prude?"

Blaine chuckles. "I'm calling you smart. And if you don't go to this party, I'll soon be spelling party-pooper R-a-c-h-e-l." You smile unwillingly.

"And it's not cheating to go to party. You aren't going to make out with anyone."Blaine backtracks. "But then again, knowing drunk you, I'm sure you'd find a way to make out with someone."

You smack his chest. "Oh shut up, I'm perfect."

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><p>You call Kurt later that night and he sounds surprisingly excited about the upcoming party.<p>

"So you really want to go to that party?" You say as you bite your cubicle and sit on the edge of your bed. "Even if Sebastian is there?"

"Um, yes." He says and you can hear a crunch on the other line, Kurt must be excited, he eats when he's excited. "I haven't seen those guys in months, and I miss them. I think I can deal with Meer-cat Manner for a couple of hours…don't you want to go?"

"I do. But I mean, I don't know any of those people, and I mean you and Blaine are probably going to leave me by myself. And you might drive off again, like you did today, and leave me."

"I said I was sorry." Kurt says.

"I know, it's just…" You sigh. "Finn, I can't do that to Finn. He'd want to come too, and if he found I went without him, he'd get so mad."

"What does Finn have to do with any of this? He is not the boss of you. You can do whatever you want to do. You can party without him, he isn't your dictator."

You fall on the bed and groan. "Come on, you have to come to the party. You haven't even been to a party since Santana's National's Party, and that wasn't even that fun, because you and Finn made everyone else watch you guy's little Finchel Love Fest. Ugh, it was disgusting."

"Hey!"

"You know I love you, and you know I love Finn, but you two together are just…"

"Perfect?" You try.

"Annoying is more like it."You pout even though he can't see you. "You are going to the party Rachel Barbra Berry, even if I have to drag you, you are going. I'll be over in an hour to help you pick out your outfit."

You chuckle. "No lace or silk."

"You give me nothing to work with!"


	2. The Party

Okay thank you everyone for your reviews, they were so nice and great. Just in case there is any confusion, this is written in 2nd person. Also once again, if you see some error with this chapter, do not hesitate to review telling me.

Also there are some very AU moments, so once again, just go with it.

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><p>No doubt the party is on its way to be wild by the time you, Blaine, Kurt, and surprisingly, Santana, walk through the door. Santana's reason to come? 'I'm a hot bisexual girl. I get the best of both worlds. I get to make out with hot guys and hot girls, and I wants to get my mack on all night.<p>

You walk through the door and already you catch strong scents of beer mixed with sweaty teen and throw up, not exactly the best smell in the world. As soon as Santana is caught sight of, she get's swept away by three guys offering her drinks and food. She gives you a farewell wink and you roll your eyes. You won't see her again tonight.

Kurt promised to stay with you the whole night, but you're skeptical on that, because you can already see him waving at old friends and you know he wants to talk to them.

"Go talk to your friends." You lean in close to his ear and order him. He gives you a sympathetic look but you wave him off. He pats your shoulder. "I'll meet up you in an hour. And we can spend the rest of the night talking to people together." You give him a smile and he walks off to go talk to a boy, you think his name is Jeff.

You decide to wander around for a little bit and try to find somewhere to sit. You kick aside empty cliché red cups and push your way around sweaty bodies, muttering quiet 'excuse me's' and 'pardon me's'. You finally find the living room where the 'couch' is supposed to be, to be honest it just looks like a big lump littered with discarded beer bottles and bits and pieces of clothes. Luckily no one is sitting on the couch with you, so you don't have to be awkwardly sitting next to them trying to look busy when they know you really aren't.

You twirl your hair, a habit you picked up during the summer, and people watch. It's always been a thing you did in your head to entertain yourself. You'd find a person and make up a personality and a life for that person.

You search the crowd for people, and one person catches your eye, Sebastian. He's wearing this red and blue flannel shirt with the cuffs rolled up and some really well-fitted pants that your sure make his butt look absolutely fantastic. He looks terribly sexy and mysterious, with his hair all messy, no doubt a result from a previous shower he must have taken. He did mention that he played lacrosse and he didn't seem like the type of guy who came to parties smelling like sweaty boy.

He catches your eye and for a second looks like he's about to look away, but he smiles instead, his eyes crinkling a little bit, and walks over to you.

The panic steps in.

No doubt you had Finn, and you were in love with Finn, and everything you did was about Finn, but damn, this boy made you feel butterflies. He had all the right things: great hair, a fantastic ass, a flirtatious personality, and it was terrible because he was gay. And god you couldn't help but feel a little panicky, because, well, he was super hot, and hot guys make you feel all lightheaded and swoony and they make you do weird things (take Noah for an example).

"Berry! You made it. I just saw Blaine and _Kurt_," he sneers as he says Kurt's name, and you find it mortifyingly adorable.

"Yeah Kurt was really excited to come, he hasn't seen his Dalton friends in forever." You say.

"Oh yeah, I know. Kurt was well-liked around here. Figures." He rolls his eyes.

You sit up because things might have gotten a little interesting. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian sits next to you and sighs before going on. "He just seems like a nice guy, and it sucks because I want to hate him for being with Blaine but I can't find it in myself to truly dislike him. I mean everyone loves him, and it blows because I need to dislike him, and I can't even do it without feeling like a major douchebag."

He looks so hopeless in that moment, his eyes are downcast and his voice lost all the cockiness it once had. He looks so sad and you put your hand on his knee, and the funny thing is, he doesn't twitch or move your hand.

"I'm always in the same situations. It's the Kara thing all over again."

You give him a sympathetic look. "Well I personally would have to say—wait, did you just say Kara?"

Because his words just dawned on you and you realize that either Kara is a very feminine sounding boy's name, or Sebastian may like girls.

"Yeah, she was this girl I used to go to school with. I was so in love with her, she was so beautiful and smart and so _sexy_, but she had this boyfriend and her boyfriend was perfect, and I wanted to hate him, but I just couldn't." Everything he says goes in one ear and out of the other because you're still trying to digest the name Kara.

"You're gay." You spit out.

"Bisexual." He drinks out of his cup and you move your hand because you just found out this amazingly cute guy is not gay, or at least, not fully.

"You okay?" He asks but you don't even get to answer because you see Santana barreling towards you and either something is terribly wrong or something is terribly right.

"Rachel!" She yells at you and you know she's defiantly not driving home tonight. She halts right in front of you both and gives Sebastian a once over, before nodding in approval.

"So you're the famous Warbler. Well other famous Warbler, Blaine was the first one." She sits on his lap; Santana was never good about personal bounders mixed with cute boys when she was drunk.

"You're trying to break my buddies Kurt and Blaine up and I'm here to say… you are _really _cute." She's slurring and touching his cheek and Sebastian doesn't seem to mind at all.

"Whatever." She continues. "We're going to go play spin-the-bottle and you and Rachel are going to go play." She pulls Sebastian off the couch.

"Santana," You protest "This is not a good idea, I really don't want to play and-," You don't get to finish because Santana looks like she's either going to cry or beat you upside the head.

"What are you saying Rachel? Are you saying you're too good for spin-the-bottle? Not glamorous enough for you? Well I've got news for you; we aren't in "New York" so you can't be all high and mighty today, so you are going to play spin the bottle." She looks so scary that you don't object and follow along with her. She leads you both to a room upstairs, stumbling quite a bit, but still making it, and opens a door, where a seemingly whole different party is going on. There are like fifteen people in the room and they're just lounging around, listening to music, making out or drinking.

"Alright guys! I got them, we can play now!" Everyone cheers and you think that for someone who claims to be such a bitch, people actually kind of like her.

You know a couple of people in the room; the boy whose house this belongs to, Nick? And the boy you saw talking to Kurt earlier, Jeff. There are others in the room, six or seven girls, all tall, blonde, and skinny. You feel really intimidated by these girls, but having Santana and Sebastian here oddly makes you more relaxed.

You all position yourselves around the bottle and everyone is already drunk or on their way to being drunk, and you feel the peer pressure sinking in. Sebastian seems to sense this and hands you the rest of his beer which you readily drink. Maybe it'll make you a little buzzed. One can only hope.

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><p>"Goddamn Berry, I didn't think you went to wild parties like that."<p>

"Please Noah, I just want to go home."

Shit happened. Yes, you will in fact say the word shit, because there is no better word to describe the situation that was Spin the Bottle. But things got out of hand and you really don't want to think about anything that happened in the last four hours.

Everything is seriously blurry.

All you can say is that shit got real and then the police came and you had to sneak out of the back door with a very drunk Santana (no way in hell you were going to stay there, your NYADA future depended on an impeccable permanent record). You walked, or rather pulled, Santana down the back alleys of this godforsaken neighborhood, totally lost and confused until you somehow got back to the highway. Good thing you were sober enough to call Noah and tell him where you were and to please come and pick you both up.

"Shit Berry, I'm not taking you back to your house, you'll get into fucking trouble big time with Papa Berrys." Noah tells you as he buckles in Santana who is leaning on your shoulder, trying not to throw up.

"Where are you taking us than?" Your patience is running low, and you seriously just want to get into a bed and sleep until you can't sleep anymore.

"Back to mine. Ma's out working graveyard shift tonight and Hanna's with some girls from Temple. You can both stay in her room."

"Noah that's very nice of you, but-."

"Cut the crap Berry, I don't want two of my closest friends in trouble for stupid shit like this. I do this crap all the time. 'Sides, now you can owe me."

You smile and wonder how you got to be so lucky and unlucky at the same time.

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><p>You wake up Sunday afternoon, Santana's turned the other way, half her body is falling off the bed and on the floor lies Noah who came in the middle of the night to make sure Santana was okay because he heard her throwing up.<p>

Your head is killing you, like literally you feel like death might be coming for you sometime soon, and for a second, you wonder why your head is killing you, and then you remember everything, everything from what you had for breakfast to that wonderful, blissful, time you spent in the closest. Then you remember the cops and how you almost sacrificed your future for some party, and then Blaine and Kurt pop up in your mind and you have to wonder if they're alright or not. Why did you leave them? That was so wrong and stupid of you.

God you feel like such a bad Jew.

Other people and things pop into your head: Finn, that one leggy blonde girl who caused all of this, the smell of pot, Nick getting arrested. Sebastian.

Sebastian Smythe. You don't want to think about him. So instead you groan and fall back onto the bed before realizing that Noah's mother could be coming home at any moment, so instead of falling back into a deep sleep, you shake awake Santana and Noah, and five minutes later, you're leaving out of the back door, thanking Noah again.

"I said don't worry about it Berry." Noah yells at you down the sidewalk, and then he smiles. "Wild Berry is defiantly hot."

"Shut it Puckerman." He laughs and closes the door, no doubt going back to bed.

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><p>Santana lives down the street, so it only takes you 15 minutes to get back to her house. She blabbers the whole way about how amazing last night was, and you can't help thinking she may be think something different if she were actually sober enough to know how the party ended.<p>

You guys get to her house, and the size of it still surprises you. You learned long ago to never listen to what Santana said about being from the wrong part of town. Her dad is a doctor and her mom is an archeologist, and they defiantly have ample wealth.

You both run up the winding metal stairs that lead up to Santana's bedroom terrace, you quickly grab your stuff and run back out the door. Santana yells at you to be careful and you tell you'll see her Monday, and then you're off, because, really, why stay?


	3. The Deed

Chapter number three, and the last chapter before the exciting epilogue. This is the way to go, write the whole story first then post it, less stress. Same as before, if you notice any weird spelling, or weird words TELL ME. I want to fix it.

Thank you for all your lovely reviews. -Charlie

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><p><em>Were moving fast enough to function<em>  
><em>Fast enough to function<em>  
><em>Baby it's me<em>  
><em>Cause I seem to think in twos and threes<em>

_So find your open door_  
><em>In through the skin-tight sound<em>  
><em>And keep that love underground<em>

-Love Underground, Robbers on High Street

Artie, Santana, Kurt, Blaine, and you sit at the Lima Bean on Monday, casually relaxing and discussing Michael Jackson song ideas. Thank heavens Blaine and Kurt made it out of the party alright (they snuck out of the garage), and they aren't even mad at you and Santana for leaving them.

All day you've been sort of out of it, you've had so much on your mind the past day in a half, you don't really have much room for reasonable thinking or coherent sentences.

It's just you keep thinking about _him_, and you don't know what to do, which is a first for you, because you always know what to do. You not only always know what to do, but you usually have three charts to accompany you.

But now everything is so chaotic in your head, and it frightens you, because you are a very organized person, and you don't do well with chaos.

And when you have to deal with chaos, you are not yourself, and everyone notices, Blaine, Kurt, Santana, Noah, even Finn managed to notice, and everyone knows he notices nothing. Bless his oblivious heart.

So now you're at the Lima Bean, quietly sipping your cappachino, half listening to the conversation, half sorting through your thoughts. You try and throw in a couple of Rachel Berry comments, to make you sound more like yourself, but even those sound half-hearted. You think about giving the guys some random excuse and leaving until you catch sight of a blue blazer and wavy bronze hair. He's coming closer.

You stare back at your cup and practically black out in nervousness. You become unaware of your surroundings and all you know is that he and Santana manage to get into a bit of a fight.

You don't realize that the fight is about you until you hear your name being used.

"Rachel doesn't have to talk to anyone she doesn't want to talk to. I don't know what you did to her, but she obviously doesn't want to talk to you…"

"No, I do." You say quickly, you really do need to talk to Sebastian." You take a deep breath and stand up, "We need to talk in private. Come on."

* * *

><p>You've been playing Spin the Bottle for thirty minutes, and you've steadily gotten drunker and drunker. You've all loosened up a bit and everyone is really touchy and friendly now. Santana's head is resting on your lap, and your legs are propped on some boy named Chris' thighs. Sebastian is across from you and he has two blonde girls all over him, and it makes you a tiny bit jealous. It's your turn again (last time you kissed Nick), but before you even get your hand on the bottle, this random chick is standing up and saying that the rules are changing and that whoever the bottle lands on, will have to go into the closest and participate in 7 minutes in heaven.<p>

You spin the bottle and it keeps spinning, skipping people numerous times before it finally comes to rest in front of him, Sebastian. _Oh no. _

* * *

><p>"What we did, I just, to be honest, I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop thinking about you." Sebastian runs his hand through his hair and he looks so frustrated. It's cold and you can see your breath when you take deep breaths. <em>Just keep breathing.<em> Having a confrontation outside of the Lima Bean may not have been the best decision.

"You barely know me Sebastian. How could you be thinking about me if you don't even really know who I am?" You say quietly, because you don't want to admit that you've been thinking about him non-stop too.

He looks back at you and he grabs your hands, and looks at you straight in the eyes. "But I want to get to know you. I want to know everything about you." He's so sweet and charming and you want nothing more than to agree and tell him you want to get to know him too. But you have to remember Finn.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that. But I have a boyfriend Sebastian, and he loves me and I love him." You do love Finn, so you wonder why it sounds so fake when you say it.

* * *

><p>You and Sebastian look at each other across the room. He raises his eyebrow and you shrug and get up heading towards the closet, Sebastian trailing behind you.<p>

You close the door and you both stare at each other in the dark.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm really you landed on me, because I've wanted to kiss you all nig ht." He breathes in your ear. You stare at him for a second and then he leans down and kisses you, tentatively at first, then growing more confident as the seconds passed.

You respond to his lips and soon you both move with each other in-sync. He grips your waist and you wrap your hands around his chest and then his hands are moving up and down the curves of your body, touching every part of your body he can get to.

Your kiss grows deeper and deeper until his tongue slips into your mouth and your both battling for dominance and he eventually wins out.

By the time your seven minutes are up, your both half naked, with swollen lips and very flushed cheeks. Jeff opened the door to expose you both, but you were Everyone stares at you both in awe and disbelief and you both look at each other before you run out of the room, not in embarrassment, but in confusion, because you cannot do this.

You cannot keep making the same mistake.

* * *

><p>"Well you didn't seem to remember Finn Saturday night!"<p>

"I was drunk!" You protest.

"You weren't even that drunk. You knew what you were doing; you wanted to kiss me just as much as I wanted to kiss you." He's right, he is so right.

"You're wrong, you don't even know."

"I think I can remember what you said to me." He lets go of your hands and walks a couple of feet away before turning back to you.

You run to the nearest bedroom, slam the door and sink onto the bed. Not two minutes later you hear and knock and then Sebastian walks in. He has your discarded clothes and he still has his shirt off. He sits on the bed next to you and hands you your shirt and shoes. You both sit in silence and he takes your hand.

"Are you okay?" You snort at his question.

"No and Yes." He quirks his eyebrow. "No being I'm so confused because this feels right, being here with you, even if I do have a boyfriend. And yes because as a I said before, this feels right, kissing you, talking to you. But we hardly know each other."

"We could get to know each other, right now." He smiles. "But I much rather kiss now and talk later."

You look at him again, and he's so close again and his breath smells like mint and then the animal takes over again and you're kissing him again, except now you're on a bed, and now there's the possibility that more could happen.

Minutes pass and things are slowly heating up, and you know you're probably going to sleep with Sebastian. Your head is telling you to stop, that this is wrong; telling you that you're a slut and a whore, but your heart is telling you that this is exactly what you want.

You're heart wins out. But then the music stops, and suddenly you and Sebastian are sitting up. You hear voices, gruff manly voices, and you know exactly what's going on.

The police are here, and they're going to start arresting people for underage drinking.

"Shit." Sebastian says and he throws your clothes at you and you both start dressing hurriedly. You hear voices coming up the stairs, and Sebastian tells you that you both need to make the bed and make it look like no one was here.

You hear the voices getting near and Sebastian cracks the door open, and waves for you to come closer. The police have gone into the wrong part of the house where no one you know is.

"Okay when I say go, you run down stairs and out of the back door."

"What about Santana, Kurt and Blaine?"

"I'll go and get Santana, but I can't do much about Blaine and Kurt. Okay go."

You both sprint out of the room, in different directions, and soon your downstairs trying to not only weed your way through the crowds of frantic kids but also trying to look for Kurt, Blaine, and Santana.

You look back and forth till your eyes fall onto Sebastian holding onto a very drunk Santana. He runs to you dragging Santana by her arm.

"You have to go now." He says urgently, his voice almost fully drowned out by the intense level of noise surrounding you both.

"What about you?" You ask.

"I'll be fine." He places his arms on your shoulders and kisses your forehead.

"What we did, I…I don't think… It didn't mean anything..."

Sebastian looks down. "I know, we can talk about it later. But you need to go."

You nod and you hope he really does understand.

* * *

><p>"What we did was a mistake." Sebastian is about to protest again, but you hold up a finger. "It was a mistake, but I don't feel regretful about it. I don't regret anything we did. But you need to know that we can't ever talk about that night again. We have to forget about it. That was a one-time thing. If people were to find out about what we did, both of our reputations would be ruined. It's better to go on with our lives and act like this never happened.<p>

"But I don't want to." Sebastian says quietly.

"Me either. But it's best for the both of us if I just went back to being in love with Finn, and you went back to chasing after Blaine. That way no one gets hurt. No one hates us. And no one will find out."

_Except for the both of us._

Sebastian chews his lip and he closes his eyes for just a second before turning back to you. "Okay." He says unwillingly.

"Okay." You confirm. "We never speak of this, never speak of us, again."

"Agreed."

You touch his bicep and he flinches a bit and you feel so bad because you've hurt this boy so much and it kills you because if you're going to be completely honest with yourself, you feel more connected to this boy you've just met than you ever did to Finn.

But the best thing about being you, Rachel Berry, is that you are an exceptional actress, and can pull off telling yourself that you never felt anything for Sebastian.

Because being an exceptional actress, means being an exceptional liar.


	4. Epilogue

What's up guys? You didn't like the ending to chapter 3? *gasp* Well here you go, the final chapter, the *drumroll please* epilogue! I loved all of your reviews, I mean every single one of them made me smile. I'm not just saying that to be nice, ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS WERE A+SMILEY FACE. I hope you guys like this.

I love you 5ever, -Charlie.

* * *

><p>You don't see much of Sebastian after that day at the Lima Bean. Oh sure, you saw him at Sectionals, where you both briefly made eye-contact before looking away, but other than that, only glimpses of him every so often.<p>

After your talk, his attempts at perusing Blaine become half-hearted, as told by Kurt, and soon it seems like he doesn't even really care anymore. He seems to put all his time in lacrosse and singing, which seems to please Kurt, but you know the real reason why.

Everything's okay, you guess.

Kind of.

Not really.

**5 months later.**

You don't end up with Finn. Everyone told you that you wouldn't, that you wouldn't last past graduation. They were wrong; your relationship lasted till the graduation party.

Finn took you outside and gave you this long speech about how you both shouldn't be forced into a long distance relationship, with you going off to New York (NYADA came through!), and he going off to Ohio State, then back to Lima to work at Burt's Garage. He said that you shouldn't go off to New York feeling all tied down to Lima, because of him. He told you that it was stupid of him to ask you to marry him because you were two different people, people who wouldn't fit in each other's world after high school.

In short he told you everything you needed to hear in order to go off to New York scot-free.

You weren't angry when he told you, you weren't even that sad. You were happy and you told him that it was very mature of him to make that decision. You both promised this was a mutual breakup, and to still be friends.

Going back into the part is oddly more peaceful than when you walked outside 10 minutes prior.

**September 2012**

New York is beautiful in its own quirky way. There's so much life and color and it's perfect for an energetic, always on the go, kind of girl like you. You started NYADA a couple of weeks ago and it's glorious, you excel at all the classes, and you aren't hated for giving your opinion, actually it's thought of as essential for a student who goes to NYADA to voice their opinion.

You drove up to New York with Santana and Noah, who both got into NYU, and trailing right behind you (literally) were Kurt and Blaine, who both got into Penn State. Santana and Brittany reluctantly broke-up; because they honestly didn't think that they could keep dating with Santana in New York and Brittany at UCLA. It broke Santana's heart, but she's been getting better, (better as in she doesn't completely start crying when you say 'blonde' or 'dance' or 'Brittany'.)

Now all three of you live together, and Santana and Noah seem to be getting closer, closer than just friends. You don't doubt they end up getting together by the end of this year. You'll be happy for them, they deserve love.

But even after all this time, you still think about Sebastian, wonder where he goes to school, what life may have been like if you gave him the chance to get to know you. Gave him the chance to hold your heart.

Would you be somewhere else? Probably not, New York has your heart. Would you be together with him? Would you two have just had some summer fling?

But all of those are questions that will never be answered.

It breaks your heart to think about what ifs, so you'll just keep living in the now, not in the past.

You have a couple of hours before you have to get to the sushi bar that you work part time at, so you go into a coffee shop that you've grown accustomed to going to on Tuesdays. The owners know you and they greet you when you walk in.

You take your usual spot and order your usual drink, and you look over your script for one of your many drama classes. You're highlighting some important lines and chewing over the very recent news that Finn and Quinn are going to get married, when someone calls your name.

"Rachel!" It's a statement, not a question. It's not in an, 'oh-my-gosh-I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever-' kind of tone, but more in a 'I've-finally-found-you' kind of tone. You look up and your eyes first land on bronze, windblown hair, and then hazel eyes, and then a seductive, familiar grin.

"Sebastian!"

_New York, I love you._

* * *

><p>BOOM, and it ends there. There is always room for a sequel, but then again, I may never write it. I like how this ends, and it's enough of a cliffhanger for everyone to be satisfied while at the same time want more.<p>

Whatever.

:)


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